XAVIERA AND HER MAN PHILIP WISH YOU A HAPPY AND HEALTHY 2025

AND IF YOU COME TO AMSTERDAM, MAKE SURE YOU STAY WITH US IN OUR

LOVELY BED AND BREAKFAST XAVIERA'S HAPPY HOUSE!!!

WRITTEN BY MY 98-YEAR - OLD FRIEND ANDY HALMAY IN TORONTO

It's getting interesting here - aside from the construction of skyscrapers on every second corner, ten percent of Toronto, one of every ten residents, line up at food banks. Rents take up all their income. In my building, there are probably only two of us tenants, still on rent control. The newer tenants pay twice the amount I pay for the identical apartment. But there must be over 300,000 Torontonians, who don't have money problems.
Taylor Swift is giving six concerts, tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday in a venue that seats 42,000. The ticket prices range from $1,300 to $12,000. That's right $1,300 to $12,000. O.K., that's Canadian dollars that run 30-odd percent lower than the U.S. dollar.
What would they charge if she could write decent songs and sing?

Cheers, WITH LOVE YOUR FRIEND ANDY…

BEAUTIFUL POEM, WRITTEN BY LARRY WILSON

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of his friend
He referred to the date on her tombstone from the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the second with tears,
But he said that what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time that he spent alive on earth,
And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars, the house, the cash
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left (You could be at "dash mid-range")

If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and what's real,
And always try to understand the way other people feel.

And... be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives like we‘ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be pleased with the things they have to say about how you spend your dash?

DOMINIC

Meeting with my favorite nephew Dominic, the son of my sister Amondi, who had died a few years ago in Knysna (South Africa) and now Dominic finally came to look us up in Amsterdam. It was a most emotional encounter since we had not seen each other for 20 years. He is an ingenieur and great at repairing and building houses. We sure caught up on all these years we did not see   each other.

 DEAR VEROUSCHKA - TORONTO DECEMBER 2024

Yesterday I had lunch with a good friend and your name came up. Well, I started to tell him stories about you, about us, and how I have known you for about 50 years. The memories, the fun, playing tennis, and yes, the sex! My Philip, your Philip, George Rabovsky, Frank, Frannie - your slave girl - and the hot wax on her lovely back, Susan Eck, Cookie Kinkead, the now world-famous lesbian photographer from Jamaica, Candy from Cuba, Monyo the sculptor.

You met my mother and my father and slept with my brother (a huge thrill for him). Then there was Judy. We all went to an orgy in Paris. Your villa in Marbella with her, and more recently with Jane, stage productions, a few lovely visits in Amsterdam with delicious food and stories. Welcoming friends of ours before cruising. These are just a few wonderful memories I have, BUT more important is YOU the Wonder Woman.

Verouschka, you are the most interesting woman I know and certainly the most accomplished and smartest. Read that again. It’s a lot!!! Meeting you at such a young age and still being in touch for 50 years is a gift to me. You are a dear friend to me - not just an acquaintance, and it is a pleasure to know you and love you. These ‘not-so-gold- -golden years are challenging and filled with tsouris. Not easy at all. We have no idea about what the future holds, but for now, in this moment, you have been and still are very special to me.

I send you a huge hug and much love, Your Lindala.

KEES VAN WANROOIJ - STORY TELLER 

Every time I approach the Stadionweg I get a big smile. Always a heartwarming welcome by Xaviera and Philip. Always a good conversation, sometimes just a lot of fun and sometimes talking about the deeper meanings of life and death.
So grateful to know you in this life. The visit is always to short and i am always happy to give a good foot massage to Xaviera.
Hope to see you also in the new year. My prayers and a burning candle are with you. You make my heart shine.

Much love, Kees

 ANDREA WERHUN WITH HER LATEST BOOK CALLED "THE MODERN WHORE"

It was really nice to have Andrea Werhun recently in our B&B. She wrote an interesting book about sex work called "Modern Whore", which also has been made into a documentary and won several awards at film festivals around the world. In recent years, there has been an undeniable appetite for stories centered on sex workers in media. While films, books, and documentaries humanize sex workers, the reality for many in the industry remains one of criminalization, stigma, and violence. In Canada, sex work is legal, yet laws like the Protection of Communities and Exploited Persons Act (PCEPA) criminalize purchasing sexual services and advertising them, effectively forcing sex workers into unsafe, clandestine environments.
To explore this paradox, we can look back 50 years to the legacy of *The Happy Hooker*, the iconic memoir by Xaviera Hollander. Published in 1971, Hollander’s book offered an uncensored glimpse into her life as a high-end sex worker and madam in New York City at a time when such discussions were still taboo. Despite its commercial success and the subsequent visibility of sex work in popular culture, not much has changed regarding the stigmatization and marginalization of the industry itself. I recently visited Amsterdam and stayed at Hollander’s boutique B&B to reflect on the 50th anniversary of her ground-breaking work. As she candidly recounted her experiences, we discussed how, while sex workers’ stories have permeated pop culture, the real fight for their protection and respect remains largely unaddressed.

*Reflecting on 50 Years* - I asked Hollander about the impact of *The Happy Hooker* on society’s views of sex work and sexual liberation. She reflected, “I showed the world that sex workers are not just bodies to be used, but human beings with hearts and souls. We were sometimes more like psychologists than sex objects.” She recalled her time on talk shows like *The Johnny Carson Show* and *Dick Cavett*, where she directly addressed the misconceptions about her profession and offered a new perspective on the role of sex work in society.

*Stigma and Progress* - Hollander has witnessed shifts in public attitudes toward sex work, but the stigma persists. “Sex in the 70s existed, but it wasn’t talked about so openly,” she said. “I wasn’t just writing about sex as a transactional act; I wrote about emotional connections, both with lovers and clients. Some clients wanted me to dominate them, while others needed someone to talk to—sometimes I was more a therapist than a madam.” In today’s world, stigma still clings to the profession, and sex workers continue to fight for recognition and rights. The stories of human connection told through films or books haven’t been enough to spark real policy change, and sex workers remain marginalized.

*Activism and Advocacy* - Hollander’s advocacy for sex workers’ rights began with her own visibility as a public figure. “It wasn’t easy to get famous. Me and my girls were taken to jail several times, but I knew how to talk my way out of those arrests,” she shared. One of the key moments in her rise to fame was during the KNAPP Commission police corruption scandal under Mayor Lindsay. Hollander became emblematic of the corruption and hypocrisy surrounding sex work in New York, furthering her resolve to advocate for decriminalization.

*Sexuality Then and Now* - When asked to compare sexual attitudes in the 1970s to those of today, Hollander noted, “The biggest difference is the internet. People now have access to information about sex that didn’t exist back then. Porn is everywhere, and people are more open to discussing sex. Magazines like *Playboy* and *Penthouse* became famous almost instantly after launching, and I even had my own sex advice column, ‘Call Me Madam,’ for 35 years.” Yet, despite the apparent openness of modern society, Hollander believes that true sexual liberation is still hindered by lingering taboos and repressive laws.

*Intersection of Pleasure and Politics* - We also discussed the connection between sexual pleasure and political activism. Audre Lorde famously spoke of the erotic as a source of power, a concept Hollander agreed with. “Politicians, just like everyone else, are interested in their own sexual desires,” she remarked, pointing to the scandals involving figures like President Clinton and Trump. Hollander recalled how, during her time as a madam, she encountered corrupt politicians and law enforcement officials, who were hypocritical in their public stances on prostitution.

*Modern Relationships* - With the rise of digital dating and sex positivity, I asked Hollander how she thought people’s relationships with their sexuality had evolved. “In my time, there were no sex toys, no birth control pills, and little information about venereal diseases,” she noted. “Now, people can access all this information online, but the stigma around sexuality is still there, especially in the entertainment industry.” Hollander emphasized the importance of continuing to advocate for sex workers’ rights and sexual liberation, even in an age where information is more accessible than ever before.

MARION HIENSCH

Hey girl.

What are the rules for expressing something? How nice your contact with someone is. I see it differently. You meet each other and there is a click. You lose sight of each other for a number of years. And look, you meet each other again. And the click is still there. Xaviera, for me. A good and hospitable person. A bit older. And she was already wise.

Those are things I cherish.

BRENDA LOVE 

As I approach 75, I am confronted with the realization that my world is rapidly imploding. I now stand alone warding off adversity without my mentors, my muses, and my past lovers. My physician, cardiologist, ophthalmologist, dermatologist, urologist, and dentist all tack on the phrase "part of old age" to my diagnoses. I have no influence, nor have I ever, with the Angel of Death who is picking off friends or the evil gods who continue to wreak havoc with global wars and ecology. I will soon leave these worries behind with the next generation and wish them more success.

Brenda Love, author of the Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices

SHARENE AND HARRISON KLEIN 

In 2011, we took a chance and (without an invitation) somewhat nervously knocked on the door of the home and B&B of Xaviera Hollander. She answered the door herself and we introduced ourselves as a couple of fans. She was warm and gracious and invited us in for a chat. That became the basis for a long and fantastically interesting friendship between the two of us and her and Philip.

Checking our agenda, we see over 100 calendar entries over the last 13 years that have something to do with Xaviera. A coffee here, lunch there, New Years Eve parties, house concerts at our home, theater performances, a canal cruise, and of course her annual epic Birthday Bash. At every event Xaviera would be beautifully dressed and made up — the camera loves her! And also at every event were the most interesting people around her. We have often said that she was Facebook BEFORE there was FACEBOOK. She connects people she meets with other interesting people and will always try to help someone who has a talent…cooking, masseuse, actor. A number of our closest friends were introduced to us by her.

And even though the last few years she has been in pain, she continues to write, write, write — and care about her many friends,  who are going through tough times.

And through all the fun times (and hard times), Philip is always right there by her side — they are truly a beautiful couple.

Thank you Xaviera for opening your heart and home to us over the years. You and Philip have enriched our lives! Sharene and Harrison Klein

POEM FROM AZMEH DAWOOD MY LOVELY NEIGHBOUR IN AMSTERDAM FROM DUBAI  

YOUNG

Young girl I was, unknowing, wide eyed
Acquired The Happy Hooker and concealed it inside
My cupboard, hotly handled & read
Panting, precocious, under my bed
What an adventure, a whole vista new
Coming of age, getting sage, through Xie, it’s true
Darling your magic mojo
Made every penis I blow
The best intro to wicked, wild sex
Granting me liquid love and maxi flex
Thank you, darling Diva, celebrity, legend, author extraordinaire
For guiding, providing, exciting, inciting such flair
Such solid, artistic, bling bling perfection
To happy encounters with every erection!
More than that, precious Xaviera, since we actually met,
You’ve made being neighbours, living in a film set
Daily they appear in variegated collections
To offer you, proffer you treats and affection
The media, B&B guests, writers, family far-flung
Porn stars, fancy cars, glittery bras and gents slick-tongued
You’re the draw, the prize, the hero, the centre pull
As much as we get of you, the cup’s never full!
You’re our Devi, sex-shaman, guide to the well-hung
Xaviera Hollander, you will be ever, eternally young!

TO XAVIERA HOLLANDER 

I have MS, brain holier than a colander
Yet, here again, is my ode to Xaviera Hollander
Diva, celebrity, ravishing star
Beloved, female stud, from near and afar
Looked up to you before we met
10 glorious years now, how can I forget?
Being your neighbour, confidant and friend
A glittering connection, intoxicating blend
Your pictures, photos capturing beauty that smoulders
Bewitching eyes, sexy smile, pert breasts, smooth shoulders
Your vibe, your chutzpah extend through every age
Ever vibrant, ebullient, deservedly centre stage
Your stories, your experiences with all kinds of staff
Bring wisdom, and his-dom, tears and laughs
Being with you is like visiting the Grand Canyon
A wonder, phenomenon, prismatic companion
Your books, your visitors, and your ribald tales
Add colour and measure beyond the scale
Some celebrate you, some even revere
No debate, it’s true, you’re so very dear
You’re sex, you’re steaming, still exciting the earth
Oh darling Xie, no poem can en-girth your worth!

PE VERHOEVEN AND HIS BRIGHT LITTLE BOY IAN 

Here are some cute pics of our friend, the semi retired banker and present school photographer called Pe and his adorable, very well trained, ten year young son called Ian with Philip at the Madame Tussaud museum in Amsterdam.

They had a terrific time when they came to visit us as they still live in Brussels, until Pe will settle in his lovely house in Scheveningen in a couple of years.

FRANK DE KLEER - MUSICIAN AND GENERAL ENTERTAINER 

Immediately after looking Xaviera in the eye for the first time, I knew: we will be friends. Actually, we were right at that moment. Like 2 dogs that met each other (with their tails up) in the park: sniff, sniff, yep, friends. Although we don't lick each other's wounds, but we mainly exchange names of painkillers.

Xaviera's birthdays are a benchmark in the year for me. A kind of secret meeting of kindred spirits.

 NORBERT WILLE - GOOD LONG TIME GAY FRIEND OF XAVIERA: WRITER AND ARTIST  

After a period of contemplation, I radically turned myself upside down in 2020. A life of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll cannot be sustained forever and the corona epidemic gave me time to concentrate on myself. In December 2020 I took the step to permanently and radically stop using cannabis that is worrisome. In the spring of 2021, I also found smoking shag an unnecessary way to spend my time. My condition improved pretty quickly, but because I had replaced the tar and nicotine with smelly cheeses on toast, I started to get a belly. A belly does not suit me at all and a lung examination showed that I had a lung functionality of 76%. In August of that year I entered a gym for those reasons and very carefully started exercising 2 times a week. To my great surprise, I turned out to like it and after a year I was training 5 days a week. Partly due to the good guidance, good atmosphere, nutritional supplements, I have now developed a body that I would have been very happy with 30 years ago at the age of 29.

With the adoption of a different lifestyle, your thinking also appears to change. Until last year I was still working geometric abstract, but in January of 2024 I suddenly had the inspiration to paint a portrait. I was naturally inspired by the superficial perfection of boys in the gym. After realizing the first portrait, I was so satisfied with it and received such good reactions from visitors to my studio that I decided to make a series of at least 5 works in a size of 122 x 122 cm. This series with the title Y(oung) D(umb) H(ung) & F(ull) O(f) C(um) is now finished and I am now working on a series of 25 smaller portraits (28 x 28 cm).

In the meantime, after my beloved cat KhapukH died in March this year at the age of 19, my household has been expanded with a black male named Maus. Maus walked in through the French doors last summer and decided not to return to his previous staff but to move in with me. I didn't really want any more pets, but when you are selected, you can only be honored by that.

LAURA DESIREE AND XAVIERA’S IDEA TO START UP A GREAT NEW SEX ADVICE COLUMN FOR NEW PLAYBOY MAGAZINE   

It's been almost 8 years since I first visited Madame Xaviera Hollander in her lovely Bed and Breakfast in Amsterdam. To call her an "influence" in my desire to lead a sensuous and sincere life is simply not enough. When I was a little girl I read my father's first edition of "The Happy Hooker" many times in secret, and over the decades it's meant more and more to me.

IN THE MEANTIME I HAD A WEEKLY TV SHOW IN ENGLAND CALLED NAKED NEWS, BUT AFTER A FEW YEARS I MOVED TO NEW YORK TO ENTER THE SEX SCENE OF THAT CITY

I am in awe and love with this woman; such a treasure to stay with her once again this past week in beautiful Amsterdam. Breakfast together every morning was always paired with incredible stories of lovers, clients, Penthouse magazine, and the global adventures she's had. A remarkable life. I did her makeup for these pics, and believe it or not- my first pass at her glam "wasn't dramatic enough"... ah- my kinda gal!

Stay tuned for a new literary collaboration we are embarking on (The first pic is from our first time meeting, as you can see her glamour is timeless) This may be the happiest story of "meeting your heroes".

Since I recently appeared in America’s Hustler Magazine as their monthly centerfold I seem to get more and more invited for sexually orientated parties worldwide. My idea and that of Xaviera is the following: Together we would love to start up a terrific sex advice column, like Xaviera has had for Penthouse Magazine for 35 years until Bob Guccione died a few years ago.

And now there is the renewed PLAYBOY Magazine that equals in style the old Penthouse. We look forward to offering them a nice, educational, and sexy advice column like Xaviera’s CALL ME MADAM, but this time answered by Xaviera and Laura Desiree.

50 YEARS OF “THE HAPPY HOOKER”

It has been over half a century since the release of the groundbreaking memoir *The Happy Hooker: My Own Story* by former call girl and madam, Xaviera Hollander. Now 81, Hollander lives comfortably in Amsterdam with her partner Philip, where they run a romantic B&B. Still as feisty as ever, she joined me for a conversation reflecting on fame, revolution, and societal change since she first penned her iconic text.

Reflecting on 50 Year- It’s been over half a century since The Happy Hooker was published in 1971. How do you feel about the impact the book has had on society’s view of sex work and sexual liberation? “Very favorable and positive. I showed readers that a prostitute is not just a sexy body and a hot fuck. My girls and I were human beings with hearts and souls, and sometimes we felt like the client’s psychologist rather than just a sex bomb.”

Stigma and Progress - How have you seen the stigma surrounding sex work change over the past 50 years, and what do you think are the most significant challenges that sex workers face today? “Sex in the seventies certainly existed but wasn’t written about so publicly until "The Happy Hooker" came out. I didn’t just write about straight sex as an ‘in-and-out, wham-bam-thank-you-Madam’ affair. I also covered emotional involvement with lovers and even with the occasional client. There were different forms of payment—sometimes instead of money, a client would bring great food for all the girls or fill the house with gorgeous flowers. For some clients, I was more like a psychiatrist, and occasionally even a wife would participate in a threesome.”

Activism and Advocacy - Your book was groundbreaking in its candid discussion of sex work. How do you see your role in the broader movement for sexual rights and the decriminalization of sex work in North America? “It wasn’t easy for me to gain fame. My most gorgeous girls and I were arrested a few times in both New York and Vancouver, but I knew how to talk my way out of that last arrest. One reason I became so famous was because of the enormous KNAPP Commission police corruption scandal  under Mayor Lindsay.”

Sexuality Then and Now - How would you compare the sexual attitudes and freedoms of the 1970s to today’s society? Have we become more liberated, or are there still areas where society is repressive? “One of the differences between 1970 and now is that everyone has access to the internet, where they can find almost anything they want to know about sex. Pornography is available for viewing and imitating. People are free to talk about sex in general across social media, radio, and TV.”

Intersection of Pleasure and Politics - Audre Lorde spoke about the erotic as a source of power. How do you see the connection between sexual pleasure and political activism, both in the past and now? “All politicians, just like non-politicians, are certainly interested in their own sexual desires. For example, the affairs of President Clinton, Trump, and French President Macron (who is still married to a much older woman). The greatest example, of course, was President John F. Kennedy and his infamous affair with Marilyn Monroe.”

Future of Sexual Liberation - What do you hope to see in the future regarding society’s understanding and acceptance of sex work and sexual freedom? How can we continue to push the boundaries of sexual liberation? “Take all measures to ensure you are having safe sex.”

Eternal Sexual “Turn On” - What is your eternal sexual ‘Turn On’? “Artificial stimulation assisted by my tiny vibrator, while aroused by outside fantasies. I used to be a size queen, but at my present age, a kiss is almost as lovely as a fuck! A good tongue can stimulate many places on the human body.”

Exploring Erotic Pleasure - In The Happy Hooker, you were unapologetic about your enjoyment of sex. How important is it for people to explore their own erotic pleasure, and what advice would you give to those who struggle with sexual shame? “Why should anyone have sexual shame? Because his dick is too small or her body too big? Nowadays, there is truly someone looking for every kind of person, and much of the searching can be done online!”

Xaviera Hollander is a pioneering figure in the realm of sexual liberation, known for her candid and groundbreaking work as an author, columnist, and former sex worker. She rose to fame in 1971 with her best-selling memoir, *The Happy Hooker: My Own Story*, where she offered a raw and unapologetic account of her life as a high-end prostitute and New York City madam. The book broke societal taboos and opened up conversations around sex, pleasure, and the rights of sex workers in a way that few had dared to do before. In addition to her memoir, Hollander continued to explore themes of eroticism and sexual freedom in subsequent books such as *Xaviera’s Supersex* and *The Happy Hooker’s Guide to Sex*. For 35 years, she wrote the popular “Call Me Madam” advice column for *Penthouse* magazine, offering frank, no-nonsense guidance on a wide range of sexual topics and becoming a trusted source of advice for readers worldwide. Through her writing, Hollander not only provided a voice for the often-marginalized sex work community but also empowered individuals to embrace their sexuality without shame. Her legacy endures as a bold advocate for sexual rights, education, and the ongoing fight against stigma.

DIA HUIZINGA - FOR YEARS XAVIERA'S BEST LESBIAN BUDDY

My dearest Xie,
I want you to know that the idea of you wanting to get out... I know you do, but I don't want to.
I don't want you to leave, I don't want to miss you. The idea of going home,  going to your house,  is too horrible for words. You're asking me also to help your dear husband Philip put the house together with your pictures and texts and actually I don't want that at all. I don't even want to have to think about it!

Terrible. Your house without you. What a horrible prospect. I'm so sorry. I will always love you wherever you are.

Love, your DIA HUIZINGA

AT FIRST GLANCE

There is nothing wrong with us, seniors, we are still excellent in body and mind. Even if we have nails in hips and knees, and we suffer from too many calories And nerves, rheumatism, muscle pain and gout. We are still fantastic, at first sight. Walking on orthodontic shoes  is really not that bad and we are all satisfied with our teeth.

We still want a lot; we want to know that, but what we want now, we have forgotten. Even though we grow crooked, facing the earth, We are still fantastic, at first glance. The youthful love was beautiful and special. Now we carry pacemakers under our hearts. We think with nostalgia of earlier years, The time when we were ardent lovers. Now we feel shoots in every joint. 

We are still fantastic, at first glance. We,  older people are getting a bit slow and low. And take pills for intestines and stomach. We crawl into our bed in the evening, dead tired, And take a nerve tablet before going to sleep. Although life is not easy for the elderly, We are still fantastic, at first glance.

The breath becomes shorter, the throats too dry. The pulse is too fast and the blood pressure too high. The years are going to count, we don't want to whine, Despite the disasters that happen to us. We have too much or too little weight. We are still fantastic, at first glance.

Even though the senses give doom and gloom, with glasses and hearing aids it still works. Even though old age sometimes brings small sorrows, spontaneously we still sing our songs and hope that after this last poem you will say: We remain fantastic, at first sight.

THE DEATH OF MY DEAR SCHOOLMATE AND WELL-KNOWN DUTCH WRITER/POET HANS PLOMP 1944 - 2024

FOUNDER OF MAGIC RUIGOORD - HE IS HAPPY TO MEET HIS END

Hans Plomp helped to turn the abandoned Ruigoord into a vibrant community and a cultural stronghold. During his life, he wrote dozens of novels, novellas, poetry collections, essays, and erotic short story collections. I introduced him to Hanny Bood, with whom he had a daughter. Hanny died of cancer in the meantime. A few years ago, Hans got prostate cancer and shortly afterwards he married the lesbian singer Masja Ottenheim, who lovingly stood by him for the next 3 years. Hans let us know that he was done cleaning up the mess in his life and that he was looking forward to a completely different world.' I experienced the same kind of curiosity as when I started building Ruigoord together with Gerben Hellinga.' He suffered from prostate cancer for 3 years and in the meantime his entire lower body became paralyzed. His wish to get euthanasia was granted and so he peacefully fell asleep at the age of 80.

FURTHERMORE, AN OTHER WELL-KNOWN DUTCH WRITER, JAN CREMER, PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR, WHOM I ALSO KNEW WELL, HIS FAMOUS BOOK WAS ME, JAN CREMER.

HERMAN DE BOCK

It’s really quite simple.
She was soixante-huit and turned soixante-neuf. Not that we ever did it, but we clicked right away. What brought us together was our shared interest in theatre. She had spent 35 years producing performances on stage, and I wanted to occasionally produce shows again. I had worked in theatre for 25 years in the past and wanted to add some flair to my life now and then. So, I called her. The door opened, and there stood a diva, dressed in a colorful kaftan. She had invited me after that phone call. We clicked instantly. We looked at each other, and I recognized that mischievous look, the same one I have - curious, probing. Of course, I was cautious. I had no idea who Ms. Hollander was. Luckily, she asks a lot of questions. In no time, we were having a lively conversation about all sorts of things—yes, even sex.

Xaviera challenges you to think, to form opinions, about everything that breathes life. And somewhere, she also wants to know if you have a big one and what you've done with it. It couldn’t be any other way. She’s direct, sometimes a bit reckless, heading straight for her goal. That can be intimidating, especially since she’s razor-sharp in those moments. I find it wonderful. At any rate, I’ve had the most fun at all her birthday parties because of it.
And I was her light and sound man at such events and fixed whatever needed looking after in her magnificent house or in the luscious garden. To me, it’s live theatre, unperformed. I’ve met many actors in the theatre—unique people, all of them. Xaviera’s circle of friends is a highly eclectic mix of genuine, authentic people with their hearts in the right place.

Xie sympathizes with me. "Your wife is quite nice, Herman," she’d say. "But shouldn’t you go to Thailand and find yourself a feisty little young woman? There are plenty of them there." But if I brought someone along (something I rarely did) or told her about someone, there was always a strange form of jealousy. Vera, that’s why I don’t tell you everything. Do your beautiful, mystical eyes see through everything? No, not when there’s competition around!
You’re larger than life, more than what’s good for you. You know why that is. You are a SWEET loving person...
Then I’d get a late-night call. We’d talk on the phone for hours, having a good time. A little escape, sitting on the living room couch at home, her husband and good friend now, - Philip - tucked in bed.
“The lemon pie was very tasty. I didn’t eat it all, though—just the top.”
“The back of the electric toothbrush works really well.”
“You are my number one racehorse.” I wasn’t prepared the first time I heard that. Ah well—knock yourself out, as far as I’m concerned.

Your need to be lively and enterprising will probably never fade. We’ve done wonderful things together, and we’ve had a good time. I love intelligent, strong women, who are a bit different and headstrong. And yes, I also enjoy uncomplicated, uninhibited sex.
You are my dearest friend, and beautiful just as you are. Herman (your racehorse number one)

"The Bear" is an unusually involving film about animals that will give you a fresh perspective on their world.